saucy

just wondering what i thought i was doing when i parked on solid ice this morning. i got out of the car, slipped and fell right over onto my side. I totally SLAMMED my shoulder onto the ice, got my pants alll muddy and my water bottle that was once in my hand, ended up under the car next to mine.

While i was alreay down there, stunned, embarrassed and in pain- i slid over on my stomach and got my water bottle. Then I tried to stand back up- slipped AGAIN and landed on my knees and scraped the palms of my hands. I thought for a moment that i should just lay there until the ice melts away in a couple months, because I didn't know how i was going to get off that ice except for army crawling and probably ripping my coat, shirt or pants. But I finally made it off the iceberg.

dont worry- im ok.

and i do have to say i feel bad now- because when my husband told me a couple weeks ago that when he got out of his 4 Runner at work that he fell right onto his knees, I couldn't stop laughing. And when I told him that I fell he was so sweet and concerned.

so dont i feel like a jerk. But HEY! Thats just my NATURE to laugh when people fall.

DONT JUDGE ME!

prize winning mini

Rob & Big last night was to. die. for!

I watched it this morning while I was eating my breakfast. And honestly it took me 20+ plus mins to finish my bowl of cereal because I kept choking from laughing. I swear on my life that a Cheerio came THIIIIIS close to coming out of my nose.

snow snow go away. go away i HATE YOU

interesting that the word 'sNOw' has the word 'NO' in it. no, i guess it's not really interesting. but i wish there was NO sNOw.

side parts break hearts

So I hate the snow, it's no secret. I do have to say though that I was so happy that even with the 7 inches we got yesterday, when I went out to my car last night, there was no snow on it and I wasnt stuck! That was awesomeness. But unfortunately everything is pretty slick today. The road to my work is a residential street and is 25 mph, and I saw this cute little old man just starting down his sidewalk to his mailbox and he was only in my view for like 7 seconds but I saw him slip TWICE in those seconds. It was intense. That icy sidewalk to his mailbox was his Everest, I'm sure. And Im the jerk that didnt think to stop and help him until i was like in my work parking lot. And by that time he'd probably already broken his hip.

Thats sad. So let's all be careful k.

OH! That reminds me of a story. When I was on my mission I was serving in Albany with Dudley and it was February, so icy and freeeeezing!! And this is not really relevant but while I'm remembering it I need to write it down for my own sake and for Dudley if she reads this. We had just been at an appointment on 2nd street teaching a lady with some CRAZY kids that wouldnt stop being psycho for one second so we could even teach them anything. And we came out of the house and we were just coming to the corner of I think it was Ontario St, maybe Quail and all of a sudden this black guy with no shirt on comes RUNNING RIGHT BY US and a second later here comes 2 cops chasing him. We were like WHAT THE!??! And so we ran to the corner to watch and here we were, 2 Sister Missionaries in skirts and name tags and standing right by us were some older guys, 2 Orthodox Jews with the long beards, hats and ringlets and we 4 just stared and watched them take this guy down. It was hilarious.

So anyway...we went to 3rd street to do some tracting and to nonchalantly meet Mary Kelleys (one of the members of the Albany Branch, and a new convert) non member sister. They have really steep stairs on that street - they are the row houses, that are just tall and narrow and side by side and have the steep steps, yeah those- and the stairs were sooo icy and I slipped coming down one and my lower back NAILED the edge of one of the stairs. DUDE it hurt like nothing else. I think it even knocked the wind out of me I hit so hard. And Dudley was trying not to laugh, and I was like just laugh. so she did. I had THEE GNARLIEST bruise I have ever had in my life!! It went from one side of my lower back to the other. It was gross. But funny at the same time.

anyway- that was totally a story just for me- you dont have to had enjoyed that- it was just fun to go down memory lane there for a mome.

Moral of the Story: Do not fall down on the ice or on stairs or anywhere else k.

little orphan awesome part 2

So I just remembered another scary food experience I had recently. I was starving on my way to work the other day so I stopped at Kneaders Bakery (super yum) for a breakfast croissant. Their croissants are soo delicious and flaky and wonderful..and I love them. But I was trying to eat it on my way to work, cuz I can't eat at my desk and I didn't want to be late so I had no choice but to eat it on the way. It was a tasty but dangerous decision. Croissant flakes were flying everywhere, (Later in the day I noticed that I practically had a whole croissant down my shirt) but that's not the point - whilst I was driving and eating one of the flakes FLEW into my eye!!! It was so buttery and painful!!! And if something flies in my eye unannounced, I'm sorry but my first reaction is to immediately close my eyes. I was trying to open them but the one hurt so bad and they started watering and so things were blurry and I was driving on state street. It was a mess. But luckily I think the thing melted in my eye or something- I dont know. But the pain subsided..I got a grip..and didn't kill anyone in the process.

And then I finished my croissant. just with a little less vigor this time around.

little orphan awesome

I almost choked (not just like fake choked, but like as in 'choked to my death' choked) on a pea the other day. It was scary. And most of all, embarrassing.

I normally dont like talking about what I eat because I feel like when I say what I eat people are like "Ooooooohhhhhh THATS why youre so fat" Especially when its something like fries or a hamburger or something. Like the other day i got fry sauce on my shirt and couldnt get it out. So I had to walk around with it on my shirt all day. JUST SO THERES NO CONFUSION as to why my weight loss goals are not being reached- i'll leave some of the reason on my shirt!... just so we'll all be on the same page."

i'm always thinking of others.

But anyway back to my near death experience. I ordered some Rice Wok, (cheap but delish Chinese food) and I was eating it in the breakroom at work and a pea from the ham fried rice went down the wrong pipe and was just stuck there like half way down. And I was trying to take a deep breath to cough it up, but I couldnt really breath because when I would try it would like rattle the pea and it would hurt and choke me. I sat there purple faced gagging and trying to cough for MINUTES while the people around me just kept eating and tried to not notice my choking. 'if we pretend to not hear her dying, then we can't be held accountable.' I tried drinking some water but the problem was that I can't get water to go down the wrong pipe on command- so it was just flowing unobstructed down the right tube. DANG IT! I finally coughed the pea up somehow, and my face started to get its normal coloring back. And all was well.

..and knowing is half the battle..

So I have really realized through reading my "The Office" calendar quote each day, how much the lessons learned in The Office apply to my everyday life. And I would like to bear my testimony about it.

On January 9th I was having a hella bad day (that is soooo 2001, i know) and I nearly MURDERED my job...and lo and behold the quote for the day was as follows:
"Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher...that would make this my career. And if this were my career, I would have to throw myself in front of a train. So, really, it's a matter of life and death."

I stuck a push pin in that quote and its hanging in my cubicle.

The other day I was thinking some things they are asking us to do at work were absurd and the quote was from Ryan saying how ridiculous them having a bird funeral was.

Today I just read on my friends blog about how bad the healthcare field is, and the quote for the day is about how Dwight doesnt need insurance because he has superior genes and superior brain power.

HOW DO YOU KEEP KNOWING WHAT I'M GOING THRU, THE OFFICE??? It just does, and its miraculous. And I love it. A+.

Just when you thought it couldnt get any wierder...

I was sitting in the breakroom today eating lunch, and there were 3 girls sitting right by me at the table and they were all talking together and UNFORTUNATELY I couldn't help but hear their entire conversation. The one girl was pregnant and has a 16 month old and she was telling the other 2 that her 16 month old is, and i quote "having a hard time making a poop". And one of the ladies that obviously knows the pregnant girl ALLLL too well said- "Well we know YOU don't have a problem with that." Pregnant girl, "Well I don't have a problem with that NOW - And my husband...oh man he goes like 3 times a DAY and I'm like what is UP WITH YOU!!" and then she cut herself off and said "oh i guess people are trying to eat. My husband always tells me I talk about inappropriate stuff at the dinner table, and now I see what he's talking about. "

UM DO YA THINK?!?!?!!? I put down my fork....threw my food away..and went back to work.

I got a new phone. And we're in love.

We were eating carrot sticks tonight and one of them looked like almost the size of a real carrot. This is the ginormo carrot stick next to a regular carrot stick.

I finally FINISHED a quilt- can you believe it?

I have started 4 quilts- and have never finished one.........until NOW! I made this baby quilt for my good friend Lara..well for her baby boy Jax. He is toooooooo cute. And if i don't say so myself...the blanket turned out pretty cute. It really has made me want to finish my other blankets and make some more.

youre my smoochy face

oh one last thing before i go to bed. i just must say that my husband is rad. i came home from work tonight to find braddy with dinner ready and the house clean (well it was already clean, but that's not the point) and after we ate he just wanted to snuggle on the couch. and him just wanting to snuggle up isn't something that happens very often, so it was lovely of him. he is my dream boat.

bobby light

So I've decided that for anyone that has been wanting to hire me as a private investigator for all your private affairs that need investigating..that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea. This is a hard reality to face...for myself and i'm sure you as well...but I have come to terms that I am not a stealth-like person. I realized this when I got out of bed tonight at 1 and was trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake up Brad. Whenever I'm trying to be quiet, I become like some clumsy fool. For instance- I reached for my glasses on the night stand, found them without making a noise but when I picked them up I knocked over my alarm clock and it fell off the night stand, hit the bed frame-bounced off-hit the night stand and THEN landed quietly on the carpet. bad plan clock. bad plan. if it HAD to fall, couldn't it have JUST hit the carpet and not everything else it possibly could.

Or how about the one where I get out of bed quietly, get my glasses quietly (you might think its weird that getting my glasses could be so loud, but if you saw my nightstand...your heart would be filled with understanding-its much like my purse if you read that post)- anyway on with what i was saying: and then run into the armour door and yelp. *while we are here talking about how i just said i yelped, i'm just wondering- do only dogs yelp? If that is indeed the case, then whatever. i did something like unto the noise of a yelping dog.

Maybe you'd prefer when i knock something off the bathroom counter onto the tile floor, or turn on the tv and the volume is turned majorly up and i have the remote upside down and my frantic VOLUME DOWN pushing keeps changing the channels and the volume is ne'er disturbed. OK im tired. and i have trouble sleeping way way too often if you haven't noticed. k..lates

Pure Love

So for Christmas Brads Mom got me one of those calendars that you set on your desk and rip off a page a day. Do you know what I'm talking about?? Well I do- and anyway theres a quote a day and all the quotes are from The Office- and I'm so in love with this calendar. I've died laughing reading through these. So I make no promises- but I will try to put the quote of the day on my blog every day. * Okay so I just thought of what I just said- I would have to go into my blog every day- 365 days straight and put a new quote up....yeah..not gonna happen. * But anyway- maybe 7 of the days out of the year there will be a new quote up on the right column. So look for that. And since I'm behind- here's the last few days worth. enjoy. they are delicious.

Jan 1. Dwight: I was crying because it was New Year's and it started snowing at exactly midnight.

Jan 2. Michael: I've been at Dunder-Mifflin for twelve years, the last four as regional manager....See, we have the entire floor, so this is my kingdom, far as the eye can see.

Jan 3. Michael: You know the saying, "A cluttered desk means a cluttered mind?"....I say an empty desk means......an empty mind.

Jan 4. Jim: My job is to speak to clients on the phone about,er ...quantities and types of copier paper- you know, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can pay for it....and I'm boring myself just talking about this....

Jan 5/6: Dwight: Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

Jan 7. Michael: Ah, this is our receptionist, Pam....Pam has been with us for....forever....If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple of years ago. MEOW.

PS- the only downer to these calendars, is that to fully enjoy the calendar-you really need to rip of the top page every day and I hate that. It really hurts my stomach each time I've pulled it off. It feels like I'm destroying it. but i have no choice right? sigh.

dance hall drug

On Saturday the 29th Brad and I were in Salt Lake waiting to pick our friend Mike D from the airport. His plane got delayed for 3 hrs so we went to see National Treasure 2 in West Valley. What were thinking....GHETTTTTO!!!! Not the movie, the theater/area. I feared for my life. Guaranteed 76% of the people at the movies that night were carrying weapons. So anywho- the movie got out at like 10:15 and we didn't need to be to the airport for almost 2 more hours. Well it just so happened that Juno was playing in the theater next to ours and it had JUST started. If there was ever a good time to sneak into a movie- it was now. Noone was around, we had the time to watch another one, it was one we wanted to see, and it wasn't even close to sold out so there were plenty of seats. So we nonchalantly walked into the movie- like thiefs in the night. I didn't even make it far enough up the little hallway to see the screen, I couldn't do it!!!! I felt so dishonest and quite frankly was afraid of being caught by some smart little teenager in a maroon polyester vest, pleated pants, and a flashlight. So we didn't go. Brad couldn't believe my pansiness, and I couldn't believe MY HUSBAND- Mr Never Breaks the Rules- wanted to SNEAK into a movie. And not even that- he didnt see what the big deal was. We have started taking a poll to see who would and would not sneak into a movie. Brads family would,my 2 brother in laws would, but my siblings would not. (2 of them HAVE once done so, one felt guilty, the other didn't really feel bad but still said its technically stealing.) One of our friend couples- the husband would, the wife would not. Another couple the husband would not, the wife would.

What would YOU do??? And trust me- You will not be looked down upon if you sneak into movies. (Although it is sneaky, stealing and dishonest) We have had a good laugh over this all- and want to see what everyone else thinks. So please leave your comment. Also Brad has an actual poll taker on his blog if you would like. Click here to vote.

Close your eyes if you're a boy.

Is it possible to feel the symptoms of a period and not actually HAVE a period? (I'm going to tell myself that me feeling emotional and sensitive and breaking out and craving chocolate is not just ME, but rather me about to start a period. because frankly I can't handle the truth)

The other night Brad and I were talking and he started playfully teasing me about how I answer my cell phone, and for some reason I could not handle it! I was eternally crushed. So someone please tell me that I'm really not THAT sensitive- but rather just nearing that time of the month (although nothing ever actually happens at "that time of the month" for me).

somebody.....anybody? bueller?

Can you believe its 2008 already??? I don't know if I can. I swear on everything good and holy that the years are flying by faster each year. I figure that when I'm 40 the years will only consist of 1 month. And that will just be bizarre. How am I already 26 1/2. I knows its because 26 1/2 years have passed since my birth. But I just don't comprehend that. My life is like going so fast without me, I'm a good 3 years behind. I'm just learning and deciding to do things I should have known and done and decided 3 years ago. Am I too old to get skinny and learn how to break dance and play the drums. I hope not. Cuz I really want to. Okay enough about how I regret that I've been stupid and boring for the past few years.

For New Years Brad and I went to moms. She cute and funny. We enjoy visiting her in her new little house that is so cute and perfect and cozy. It's just a different pace up there, we just relax and play games and watch movies. It's nice and so quiet and pretty.

All my life on New Year's Eve we put out one of our shoes just in the living room and in the morning we would have little unwrapped gifts from the New Years Elf. I LOVE this tradition. It's never anything big- just something random and fun. Like a candybar and some new pens. Or a yo yo and silly string..something like that. Well this year the New Years Elf brought me,mom, Brad and my brother Ammon these little stuffed animal things that have a little pouch that you put this thing in that vibrates- so its a little massage toy. Its really funny looking, but actually works pretty good. My mom, I mean the New Years Elf, bought them at Kings- its this little store that I think is only in Preston and Logan, maybe theres one in Pocatello too- who knows. I haven't been to Kings in DECADES!! Anyway, The best part of the whole gift is we opened the boxes up and there was a coupon inside that said that if you wanted to enter some contest to send this coupon in by June 1998!! These wierd little Snuggle Buddies had been stored in the backroom at Kings since '97!!!!!! HA! My mom was like- oh no wonder they were only $3. we had a good laugh.

I remember one New Years, the elf brought my brother Aaron one of those paddles that has an elastic and a ball attached- you know what i'm talking about, and all I got was some new underwear! I was probably 10 and i was so upset. And I remember my mom calling me an ungrateful little snot. Sad. Still brings a tear to my eye. Okay not really- I just feel bad I complained about a GIFT! I was a lame child. Sorry mother. I'm sure the underwear lasted far beyond the 3 mins that paddle ball game lasted.

Heels over Head

I feel like I need to hang my head in shame because of my serious beyond serious lack of blogging. I just hope I haven't lost friends over this.

So Christmas is over. That came and went so fast I can't even quite believe it. Brad and I made out like bandits this Christmas! Everyone was SOOOOOOOO good to us!! The niceness was uncalled for really. We don't deserve it. We went to California and stayed with Brads Mom, Step-Dad and littler brother. It. was. so. fun!!! And relaxing and enjoyable and all those good words. I love going and spending time with them, although it's probably really best I DONT go visit them because I never want to leave, and I have to. It's tragic.

It was a little colder there than when we went 2 years ago- but hey we were still in shorts and flip flops and most importantly there was NO SNOW. That's really all that matters to me. Our plane was delayed for 3 1/2 hrs on our way back and that was lame- but whatever, at least we didn't have to drive right? Right.

Well I hope you all had a great holiday. Sorry that I'm only over a week late in saying that.