little orphan awesome

I almost choked (not just like fake choked, but like as in 'choked to my death' choked) on a pea the other day. It was scary. And most of all, embarrassing.

I normally dont like talking about what I eat because I feel like when I say what I eat people are like "Ooooooohhhhhh THATS why youre so fat" Especially when its something like fries or a hamburger or something. Like the other day i got fry sauce on my shirt and couldnt get it out. So I had to walk around with it on my shirt all day. JUST SO THERES NO CONFUSION as to why my weight loss goals are not being reached- i'll leave some of the reason on my shirt!... just so we'll all be on the same page."

i'm always thinking of others.

But anyway back to my near death experience. I ordered some Rice Wok, (cheap but delish Chinese food) and I was eating it in the breakroom at work and a pea from the ham fried rice went down the wrong pipe and was just stuck there like half way down. And I was trying to take a deep breath to cough it up, but I couldnt really breath because when I would try it would like rattle the pea and it would hurt and choke me. I sat there purple faced gagging and trying to cough for MINUTES while the people around me just kept eating and tried to not notice my choking. 'if we pretend to not hear her dying, then we can't be held accountable.' I tried drinking some water but the problem was that I can't get water to go down the wrong pipe on command- so it was just flowing unobstructed down the right tube. DANG IT! I finally coughed the pea up somehow, and my face started to get its normal coloring back. And all was well.