"I can't be around carbs today. Do you have any idea what a simple loaf of bread would do to my abs?" -Michael
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael
"If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd be able to just countdown from my previous cycle. Women don't know how easy they've got it." -Dwight
"Alright, everybody in the conference room. I don't care if you are gay or straight or a lesbian or overweight, just get in there, right now!!" -Michael
"It's clear to me now. They only loved me when I was strong and walking around. That is so prejudiced. What kind of boss am I if I've raised such an insensitive group?" - Michael
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